


oblivion

by whereshiphappens (xiiis16)



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Angel Luke, Human Ashton, M/M, Minor Character Death, Suicide Attempt, and Heaven, and archangels, just angel stuff, lots of tears and angst cause i'm a terrible person clearly, mentions of depression, oh! and it's 18x18 ok??
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-07
Updated: 2015-04-07
Packaged: 2018-03-21 18:53:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3702397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xiiis16/pseuds/whereshiphappens
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Ashton may be broken, he may be constantly fighting himself, struggling to go through each day; he may have a constant stream of dark thoughts clouding his mind and judgment, whispering wicked things in his ear to see him crumble, but Luke is there to chase them away, when he knows Ashton’s mind is too weak and he’s too broken to do it himself. Luke is always there to watch over him, because no matter how broken he is, he is still Luke’ whole world and purpose; he is still <em>his human.</em>"</p><p>or</p><p>a story about a guardian angel that has feelings he doesn't understand for his human.</p>
            </blockquote>





	oblivion

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I am back! :D and I am also very sorry for the wait.
> 
> Finally managed to finished one of the stories I have in my folder - it's quite a number, let me tell you.  
> It's a 18x18 thing, because I can't help myself and c'mon, 18 yo Ashton is everyone's weakness so I pared that up with 18 yo Luke, in a guardian angel version because i'm trash and i love AUs *-* 
> 
> Ok, so this is a one shot, but I am totally open to write more of this because yeah, because of reasons +.+  
> I hope you do enjoy! I'm sorry for the lack of specific romantic stuff, but like i said, this is probably not the last of this verse i write, but we'll see ^-^ i wont make promises cause i'm terrible at keeping them ._. 
> 
> All mistakes are mine cause this is un-beta'd (i do apologize for any stupid mistakes) and all kudos and comments are so very much appreciated, <3 either here, or on my tumblr, whereshiphappens.tumblr.com :)
> 
> Thank you, I love you.

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

It’s not easy being the guardian angel of a broken human. It’s not easy seeing your entire and sole reason to exist in constant conflict, fighting themselves. It’s not easy to understand their reasons as well, when one has only a vague concept of what _feeling_ is. It’s not easy and Luke would know. It’s not easy at all watching over Ashton. But watching over Ashton, over humans assigned to him is his whole purpose and he doesn’t know much of anything else. He doesn’t want to know either, it’s implemented deep in his core.

All angels have their tasks, there’s order in everything and Heaven is no exception. The archangels are in charge of the most important tasks – they form a kind of council, assemble time and time again to discuss the most important matters, make sure everything is going as their Father’s plan.

Luke has never been with his Father, really – even the archangels, it was only a couple few that talked to God regularly; but still, he trusts Him. Luke knows his mission and he does all he can to do it well, no matter how hard it proves to be.

He hears his brothers talk; he knows most of them have their _job_ facilitated because their humans have an average life with not much of big struggles. Not at all like Ashton. But Luke’ resolve doesn’t falter the tiniest little bit. He watches Ashton, stands right beside him, guards him, guides him, even if Ashton doesn’t realize it with the way he’s so hopeless.

Ashton may be broken, he may be constantly fighting himself, struggling to go through each day; he may have a constant stream of dark thoughts clouding his mind and judgment, whispering wicked things in his ear to see him crumble, but Luke is there to chase them away, when he knows Ashton’s mind is too weak and he’s too broken to do it himself. Luke is always there to watch over him, because no matter how broken he is, he is still Luke’ whole world and purpose; he is still _his human._

Ashton wasn’t always like this, either. There was a time he was a normal boy and his grades in school were his biggest concern. There was a time where Ashton was able to look at himself in the mirror, make an effort to look presentable before he got out of the house. There was a time where he had a handful of friends he met every evening after dinner and hang around with, not really doing much of anything but enjoying each other’s easy company. He always had such a kind heart, he was such a compassionate human, and he had an amazing sense of humour, apparently.

(Luke can’t really tell, he didn’t understand most of his jokes, but he made all his friends laugh.)

Watching over him wasn’t hard at all. Nowadays it’s all different and Ashton’s company hasn’t been easy. To be honest, any contact with people was now such a big effort that he couldn’t find it in himself to endure.

Even with his parents; _especially_ with his parents.

Luke saw from afar how broken that family had gotten. How everything had shifted since a specific night, almost a year ago. A car accident. Ashton was behind the wheel, his little sister on the passenger seat – she hadn’t been able to fasten her seatbelt, before the truck hit them and projected her out of the window. Lauren didn’t stand a chance; she ended up passing away in the hospital.

Ashton’s guilt, almost overpowered his grief.

Luke could hear his thoughts, at night, when his mind was in the fragile state between reality and dreams, Luke could – if he wanted to – listen in, know exactly what was going on in his mind.

His darkest thoughts always came up then and in the first few weeks after it all happened, Luke felt utterly powerless because no matter how hard he tried to sooth Ashton, to clear his mind, let him sleep and rest, there was always something there, something so dark it was hard for Luke to erase completely without draining himself out.

Raguel, the Archangel responsible for the attribution of the guardian angels to their respective humans as well as every other function of the angels in Heaven, wanted to take Ashton from Luke. He told Luke his human was in a much fragile situation, one Luke wasn’t experienced enough to deal with.

But Luke refused. Luke pleaded to stay with Ashton, because, Ashton might be broken, but he was still _Luke’ human._

It was hard and draining and so absolutely tiring, especially when Ashton’s mother stopped making an effort to even properly _look_ at Ashton. His depression settled in completely, and there was nothing but bad thoughts clouding his mind anymore. Luke saw Ashton _dragging_ himself through life, and he started closing his mind more, to the point where the angel couldn’t see his thoughts as clearly anymore, couldn’t put his hand on his shoulder and lift the weight on his chest because Ashton wasn’t asking for help, like he used to. And Luke couldn’t help him if Ashton didn’t let – if he closed his mind and gave up on living.

And so, after days pondering, Luke decided to seek Raphael. Admitting he needed the Archangel’s help to clear Ashton’s mind – that Ashton was _so lost_ the needed Heaven’s Healer – was a risk, but it was one Luke was willing to take, if it meant his human, even though he might not be his after it, was going to be safe.

As he talks to him, Raphael has a kind expression on his face, and after Luke finishes talking, he puts his hand on Luke’ shoulder as he tells him, in a calm voice “you did the best you could’ve done, brother,” and smiles gently at him.

Luke doesn’t quite comprehend the meaning behind his words. “Are you going to give him his peace, Raphael?” he asks, worried eyes examining the archangel’s unchanging expression. He nods subtly, closing his eyes as he reassured Luke, “indeed, peace shall be given to your human, Luke.” 

Bowing his head, Luke thanks him, the sensation of a weight being lifted off him. “I was reluctant in asking this of you, brother, thank you.” Once again, Raphael smiles, “there’s no shame in seeking help, or stepping back.”

And it’s at that that Luke raises his eyes to face the archangel, frowning, “I am not stepping back, I merely need help to get through to him – once you do that, I’ll be able to help him,” Luke says, his voice rising to a distressed tone that has Raphael’s understanding hand falling on his shoulder, as if to steady the younger angel’s troubled thoughts.

He wasn’t giving up on Ashton, quite the contrary he was holding on to him with both hands as tightly as his ethereal self could. There was something always pulling at his core, a vital need to keep Ashton safe, well – _happy_. He remembered the times when Ashton was happy. Seeing him like that, just looking at his face brought an intriguing calm to him, serenity unlike any other just by sitting on the floor across from him, watching him smile stupidly at his phone and smile as well, as if compelled.

Raphael himself had once compared this need to the irrational survival instinct humans have – the only difference, he had said, is that whereas humans have it towards themselves, guardian angels have it towards their human.

Another comparison he’d made, Luke didn’t quite understand – well, he did understand the words, but he couldn’t know the _feelings_ associated to empathize: Raphael had said that, in a way, it was the closest thing angels felt to unconditional _love._

He knew what love was, of course. But he didn’t know what love felt like, not really, not like humans experienced it. Nevertheless he could never give up on his human. That thought is always present with him when he sits in the corner of Ashton’s bedroom at night, watching helplessly as his human lays on his bed curled in a tiny ball, the by now worn picture of his little sister in his hand and the overweighing guilt pushing at his chest, making him crave his mother’s embrace and missing it, having him just curl in on himself even more at the reminder. He doesn’t cry – he hasn’t cried in so long.

Luke always feels his wings itch, a need to go over there and wrap him in a tight hug himself, replace his neglecting, _unfair_ mother and bring him the comfort he needs. But all about Luke is ethereal, and he _can’t touch Ashton_ , and Ashton _can’t feel him._ Instead, he watches him, guards his dreams and keeps the nightmares away, gives Ashton all the peace he can, wishes he could do more, he knows Ashton deserves so much more, he deserves everything good in the world. He’d burn himself, to keep Ashton’s heart warm.

(He wondered if that was anything like love.)

He would never abandon him. And realizing what Raphael _mis_ understood, a sensation of tightness appears in his chest and he wants to grab Raphael’s hand, plead him to understand.

He stares at Luke for a few seconds in silence, his thoughts flying right behind his eyes, but impossible for Luke to read.

“Your commitment to your human is remarkable, Lucas,” Raphael speaks in a calm almost soothing voice that has Luke holding his breath. His expression remains kind and Luke stands there, silent, anxiously waiting for his next words. Raphael squeezes his shoulder reassuringly as he steps a little closer to speak more quietly, creating an illusion of calmness, “but there is nothing I can do, brother. He’s closed himself off beyond return now; Azrael has been warned it is only a matter of time now. I’m sorry, Luke, your boy has already made his choice.”

Something shifted inside Luke, he is sure. Something right at his core, right at his _grace_ shattered into a million pieces and for a dizzying moment, the sensation that the floor was escaping beneath his feet invades him violently and his wings are numb to save him from a never ending abysm.

 

He remembers the night Lauren died. He remembers standing by Ashton’s hospital bed without being able to move an inch, like something was pulling him towards Ashton more than it normally did - that survival instinct. His hand was over Ashton’s shoulder, his eyes closed as he focused on trying to help Ashton when he felt the strong presence of one of Azrael’s angels. Immediately, he opened his eyes and turned around, looked at the door.

Passing through, Lauren was holding an angel’s hand; she was guiding the little girl’s soul going into the light. Her step faltered as she looked at her big brother on the hospital bed. Luke was silently observing, cautious and curious. The little girl frowned and looked up at the angel guiding her through, “what about Ashton?” she asked, innocently, “Isn’t he coming too?”

Before Azrael’s angel could properly look at Ashton’s sleeping form, Luke’ wings were falling on his hurt body, shielding him from her in a spontaneous move. The silence stretched for a couple more seconds, before the angel was speaking again, “no, dear, he’s not coming with us right now.”

For the first time, Lauren looked at Luke. “You’ll see him again,” the angel added, reassuring the little girl. For another moment, she just stared at Luke examining him, before she gave him a half smile.

“Promise to take care of him, until I do?” she asked Luke instead. It took him a while, but he nodded.

“I promise.”

 

That night, when Luke goes back to Ashton’s room, he doesn’t sit in the corner of the room. That night, he mindlessly goes over to Ashton’s bed, sits by Ashton’s feet and looks at him, just looks at him.

Ashton is sitting cross-legged from him, he’s got his headphones in and he’s looking down at his hands on his lap as he hears his music. Luke can hear it too. His fringe is falling over his hazel eyes and he keeps biting his lip – not in a nervous way, but rather in a mindless one instead, like he’s distracted thinking of something else. Luke can’t take his eyes off him, brow furrowed leaning slightly forward as he analyzes his face.

He looks so complex to Luke. It startles him how calm he looks how he’s able to sit there like this, like nothing is wrong and he’s just consumed by the music. Maybe he is. Maybe he’s thinking of something else.

Raphael’s words haunt him. Maybe he’s not thinking at all, anymore, and the reason he looks so calm is because he’s found his solution and his mind has finally shut off, knowing soon it’d all be over.

Luke can’t quite explain the tightness that invades his chest. He can’t explain what is going on in _his heart_. A sudden _emptiness_ overwhelms him and his whole body protests when he thinks about not being with his human anymore. It acts on its own and his hand is reaching for Ashton’s wanting to hold it, hold it tight and never let it go.

He feels nothing beside the painful barrier between both of their worlds and it only makes it worse.

Still, he squeezes his hand and Ashton doesn’t feel it, not really, but he raises his head and for a moment, a breath taking moment that has Luke’ heart skipping a beat, his eyes stare right into Luke’. Behind him, his wings flutter involuntarily in a foolish reaction. Luke knows he can’t see him, but he can’t help the tingling sensation cursing through his skin, and a desperate need to feel him, feel his touch.

Ashton’s eyes are tearing up for the first time in a long time and Luke’ breath comes out shaky as he opens his mouth. He senses Ashton’s feelings and can guess what he’s thinking and what he needs to hear. Ashton can’t hear him, but he speaks nonetheless.

“Please don’t give up,” he whispers, voice unsteady, and a million sensations setting a weight on his heart, making his eyes sting. Something he’d never experienced before.

“Please don’t go anywhere I can’t follow you.”

Ashton’s eyes are glassy, his bottom lip trembling and his hands shaking as he yanks the headphones from his head, shuffling back on the bed until his back hits the pillow and he’s able to lie down. He moves in all harsh, almost angry movements and it makes the tears slide down his cheeks.

“It’s not like anyone would miss me,” Ashton mumbles, speaking to himself and breaking Luke’s heart. At that moment, his walls crashed down, his thoughts rush like an overwhelming wave all over Luke and for the first time, he feels the real fragility of his human. It’s indescribably overpowering and suffocating and horrible and it has Luke crawling up to Ashton before he can think. It has the angel lying next to him, his wings wrapping protectively around his frame, creating a small breeze that makes the little hairs in Ashton’s arm dance and a shiver run through him.

No one really ever set a limit on the connection a guardian angel forms with his human, but Luke is sure this sort of pull he feels towards Ashton was something more besides his duty. An angel had no wants, no selfish needs or urges – an angel was rational but kind, gentle and forgiving. A _guardian_ angel was stoic, accepting of the course of life.

An angel had no passionate feelings.

And yet, as he held on to his human, wanting to protect him from the world around him and the dark, terrible thoughts that plagued his mind – _he could hear them again –_ he realized this wasn’t just a _job,_ an _obligation._ This was him, wanting Ashton there, close, alive, fighting and above all well. He wanted Ashton to fight, and he wanted Ashton to want to stay – not because that was what he was supposed to want for Ashton; no, he wanted it because he couldn’t deal with how lonely and gray and cold the world would turn without _his_ Ashton.

It wasn’t over. Not now that Luke could reach him again, due to his fragility. Not now that he was able to invade his dreams and make them nothing short of pleasant. Not now that Ashton showed he could open up and still had his doubts and something in him to fight.

Not now that there was hope.

 

 

“Luke, there is nothing left to be done,” Hannah, one of the angels working with Raphael says as she notices the fierce determination on Luke’s face.

“There is, Hannah,” Luke insists, “there is, I know there is.”

Looking around, wings fluttering in discomfort, Hannah beckons for Luke to follow her and sit somewhere off the way, where their brothers and sisters could hear them. “How can you be so sure, Lucas, you heard Raphael; Azrael has been notified, he’s waiting for your human.”

Shaking his head in a desperate sort of impatience, Luke grips Hannah’s hands, a pleading expression on his face, “I hear him last night, Hannah!,” he presses, “if he was that gone he’d be closed off to me, I wouldn’t be able to get to him never again, and I did – Hannah,” he squeezes her hands to get her attention, “I did.”

She doesn’t know what to tell him, if telling him anything would help in anyway. Luke looks too decided, too wild and it scares her. “And…” she starts, “what are you planning on doing now?”

Luke is biting his lip, his wings unsettling just like his feet and Hannah observes him as he seems to ponder on his answer.

“If I could reach him-“

“Luke,” she interrupts in a warning tone, taking her hands off his.

“He thinks no one cares, Hannah! He’s doing this because he thinks no one cares, no one wants him around anymore and everyone blames him – I’ve heard it, I’ve _seen_ it.”

Once again, the other angel looks at him fairly distraught, “You cannot! You know you cannot, if he’s made his decision, no matter the circumstances, you have to accept it, it’s your duty. His future is written.”

“His future,” Luke presses, bending closer to Hannah, talking lower as well, “can be changed. You know that, his future is not permanent. His future changes with every decision he makes.”

She stares at him incredulously, almost scared at the way Luke’s talking.

“Yes,” she allows, “every decision _he_ makes.”

Luke is silent – not for a loss of arguments, but quickly realizing there was no point in discussing the matter with her. Maybe she senses his mind isn’t changing because she keeps going, genuine worry colouring her face. “Lucas, even if you find a way to break the barrier and you do intervene…” she hesitates for a second, “you know what will happen to you,” Hannah says instead.

He does know; Michael will punish him. Luke could lose his wings and be forever stuck in Heaven, unable to see Ashton.

“It’s worth it,” Luke whispers, looking her in the eyes, trying to somehow convey to her what’s going on in his mind, how he _feels._

“You’d give up your wings over a human?” she asks, some sort of intrigued expression on her face as she examined Luke’s face.

“I’d give up my life for _my_ human.”

Hannah falls silent. Her lips move, part to say something but nothing comes to her mind. She can’t really relate; she has no idea what’s going on in Luke’s mind. To be fair, neither does Luke, he can’t really pin point the exact moment Ashton became this important to him, but he knows he did, he became the single most important thing in his life, worth whatever sacrifice Luke had to make.

It’s explicit in his eyes, really, and Hannah can see it, and above all admires it – the same way she does when it comes to human emotions, the very intensity with which humans, contrary to angels, feel things. Luke reminds her so much of them.

“Luke!” his name is called from just a few feet away, where another angel – a friend that works in Azrael’s division – landed, wings still shaking from the flight. Luke’s attention falls on him immediately.

“What is it, brother?” he asks, although in a corner of his mind, a certain anxiety, mixed with fear started to form.

“I was told to warn you: your human, Luke, Azrael sent for him.”

 

Luke couldn’t feel warmth, or cold. All physical sensations were limited to him; taste, touch, smell, everything outside of his body was somewhat restricted. However, as he heard those words, he felt his whole body go ice cold – as if it was possible. His throat closed up and his stomach knotted up. His mind was a confusing mix between overdrive and complete emptiness. His mouth was dry.

He never flew this fast. And he never felt his heart beating as quickly in his chest as it is as he flies down to Ashton, _so very fast_ , it’s like falling.

There’s not a single thought in his mind beside _Ashton_. That strong sensation like survival instinct is pulling him to Ashton and it doesn’t mean anything good, it means he’s needed, it means his human is not well, it means something is _very wrong._

He knows as much when he is pulled to the rooftop of the building where Ashton’s dad works as a security guard, dread filling his chest, sensing the other angel’s presence. He sees Ashton, calmly sitting cross-legged on the ground, facing the edge; he looks like he does sitting on his own bed, safely, Luke’s mind provides as his feet touch the ground and he runs closer to Ashton.

“Luke,” the other angel in the rooftop calls him, appearing in the path between him and his human – Luke knows him, his name is Nicholas. They’re still some feet away from Ashton, and the anxiety and fear that grows inside Luke doesn’t let him utter a single word. He makes to pass by the angel, skirt around him to get to Ashton and do something, anything to take his mind off what he’s about to do, but Nick stops him with a hand on his chest.

“Lucas, stop, you need to let happen whatever’s about to happen,” Nick tells him, blocking his way.

“Nick, let me go,” Luke says and his voice is shaky and he feels his eyes sting, his heart tight like a fist is closing around it. Never in his life has he felt as anguished as he does right now.

“I won’t. Do you know what’ll happen to you if-“

“I don’t care!” Luke yells, facing Nick, taking his eyes off Ashton for the first time since he landed, “I do not care, Michael could strike me down and you could take me yourself to The Other Side right this second, if it meant he was safe!” he’s lost all control over his voice, it sounds as desperate as he feels. Luke tries again to push past him, but Nick isn’t letting him. He grips the front of Nick’s plain white shirt, “Let me through, _please,_ ” he says as he tries once again push past Nick’s strong figure that, once more keeps him from taking a single step to Ashton.

Ashton, who’s standing up; Ashton, who’s slowly stepping closer to the high railing by the edge of the building. Luke can’t see his face but he knows he’s not crying, can feel the dreadful calm radiating off his human, and it only scares him further. Nick is silently staring at Luke, an expression Luke can’t read on his face.

Ashton’s hands run gently over the metal of the railing, “Nick, please, you don’t understand, there’s hope for him, and I know it. All he needs is to hear the right words, he doesn't really want to do this, he just needs someone to ground him, _please!_ ” Luke pleads, his eyes never leaving Ashton although his vision is getting blurred from unshed tears. He’s never cried before – angels don’t cry.

Behind Nick, Ashton is gripping the railing, a foot rising to the lowest bar to prompt himself up.

Luke’s hand falls on his own chest in a tight fist as he speaks, “I know him, Nick,” his voice breaks and the lump on his throat is almost too big for him to talk, “I know what he needs to hear, please, I can’t let this happen.” He’s shaking his head helplessly.

“I can’t let this happen,” he repeats in a smaller voice, as Ashton prompts himself on the railing, slowly, looking at the setting sun swinging one leg after the other, until he’s stilling with his feet dangling. Luke’s still gripping Nick’s shirt with one hand, his whole body shaking.

“Not to him, not to my human _. I need him_ ,” he hears Nick’s breath catch in his throat as the first couple of tears escape Luke’s baby blue eyes and run down his cheeks. Nick had never seen something like this; an angel demonstrating such intense _feelings._ Looking absolutely shocked at Luke, the only though that comes to his mind was that _he looks so very Human._

Ashton leans his body forward, his arms stretched behind him as he grips the railing, mind and body absolutely numb as he stands there, so close to his finish line.

“You can’t break the barrier…” Nick murmurs, still dazed looking at Luke, “the Veil is still keeping you from him.”

Luke doesn’t hear those words. He doesn’t hear a single thing like suddenly every single sound around him turns into white noise and all he can focus on is the alarm, the most intense alarm cursing through his body, the sensation of pure terror invading him and taking a hold of him like a warning. “ _Ashton!”_ he screams _._ His eyes focus Ashton, and he watches almost in slow motion as Ashton’s hands slide from the railing “ _No!_ ”

And he lets go.

 

Once again, something pulls at him. The survival instinct, maybe, it stings right in his _grace_ , right at the core of Luke’s very existence. It’s something wild, something desperate, blindly uncontrolled. His body moves before his mind has the time to process a thought and he doesn’t even realize he’s screaming.

His wings whip the air behind him and he’s shot forward at a speed such that sends Nick back. His hand is reaching out blindly, and it’s the first place where he feels it. A difference, a pressure against his fingertips and then his whole hand and arm, his whole body. It’s like ripping through a fragile and invisible fabric that has no way of stopping him from getting through.

And then for the first time in his life, Luke feels warmth.

 _Touching._ It’s something out of this world.

His fingers wrap around Ashton’s wrist as he dives after the other boy, and grips his skin like he’s holding on to dear life, bent over the railing. He feels his blood rushing in his ears and the crazy amount of sensation is certainly overwhelming, but nothing takes his focus out of Ashton.

Ashton looks up, looks right into Luke’s eyes and he’s absolutely terrified, gripping Luke’s hand just as tight as Luke holds his. There are tears running down Ashton’s cheeks, and Luke can see the fear in his eyes, the regret written all over his face.

“Please, don’t let me go!” He yells, eyes closing, his other hand reaching up for Luke.

“ _Never_ ,” Luke says, holding his hand, both his hands and using all his upper body strength to pull him up, until Ashton’s hands can grip the railing again and Luke is able to pull him up by his torso.

The second Luke’s arms reach to hold him, Ashton’s hands come up to wrap around his neck and he uses his feet on one of the bars of the railing to push himself up going over the railing and right into Luke’s arms.

For just a moment, all Luke hears is Ashton’s jagged breathing in his ear as he holds him tight, feels the fast beating of his heart against his chest and how bad Ashton is shaking in his arms, sobbing. His chest feels all constricted and his stomach is in knots, his own heart beating faster and faster and suddenly the reality of the situation hits him, what could’ve happened to Ashton, how close he was to dying just now.

He holds him tighter nose buried in his neck as he takes in his scent for the first time and feels his head spinning. The warmth of his body, the pressure of his arms wrapped firmly around his neck, the tickling of his curls on his jaw, even his tears soaking Luke’s white shirt; the beating of his heart – so real, so overwhelming.

They stay like that for a moment, in silence until the sun is set and Ashton’s shaking subsides a little. His arms unwrap slowly from Luke’s neck and he reluctantly steps back.

“Who are you?” he asks, voice still shaking, tears still falling as an aftermath. Ashton has never seen him around and it’s the first thing that comes to his mind, despite how absurd it sounds in the middle of the whole situation – the boy just saved his life and that’s the first thing he says to him.

“I’m- I’m Luke,” he says, as he awkwardly stuffs his hands on his jeans’ pockets.

Suddenly he realizes how ungrateful he sounds, “I’m sorry, I’m being so rude,” he says, shaky hands ruffling his curls. His eyes start watering again and his breathing gets ragged as he starts pacing back and forth, his mind is all over the place and he doesn’t even know what to say. “I was so- I was so sure but then I don’t know what happened but you-“he stopped the pacing to look back at Luke, a few feet away.

Luke still feels overwhelmed, having Ashton speak _to him_ is so strange. He can’t take his eyes off him and his hands shake with the want to hold him again.

“You saved me,” he whispers. “I didn’t even notice you were there.”

Luke shrugs, a small reassuring halfhearted smile bending the corner of his lips. “It’s unbelievable,” Ashton keeps going in a small voice, just staring at Luke, his breathing calming down and his sobs subsiding. He steps closer and a nervous, tearful laugh escapes his lips.

“Are you my guardian angel, Luke?”

Luke’s breath gets caught in his throat and his eyes widen, “How did you know?” he genuinely asks, as the questions gets him completely by surprise. _How could he know?_

And then Ashton laughs despite the tears in his eyes. It’s a nervous laugh caused by the adrenaline and a sound Luke hasn’t heard in ages and it warms up his heart, despite the previous confusion he caused him. “You’re funny,” he tells Luke, and that’s when Luke realizes that _oh, it’s a joke._ He smiles at him and they both stand there, just looking at each other for a couple of moments.

“Thank you,” Ashton finally says. It feels not enough, but it’s a start.

“You don’t need to thank me,” Luke says, “I’m just glad you’re okay. Whatever – whatever drove you to _that,_ just know that you don’t need to go through it alone. And that… you’re important, okay?”

Ashton is silent for a moment, just looking at the stranger in front of him in something like awe and intrigue. There’s no reward for what he’s doing, no one’s here to call him a hero and he has no connection to Ashton, Ashton is not his responsibility; and still, here he is reassuring him more than anyone ever bothered to. He’s quite out of this world.

Ashton feels the lump on his throat, and his eyes stinging once more at the kindness of this stranger.

“You know, Luke… it’s kind of hard to believe you didn’t come right out of heaven.”

Luke smiles. He wondered for a minute if he should tell him anything. But then he reconsidered. There was no need for him to know, even if he could tell him – he wasn’t even supposed to be here in the first place. Only a few angels are allowed to walk on this side of the Veil, all of them with approval, none of them a guardian angel rebelling for his human.

“We should get out of here,” he says, nodding at the roof door. Nick will have to tell Azrael why Ashton didn’t go through with it, that Luke intervened when he was forbidden to do so. They will come for him. Luke’s time with Ashton was counted, so he wasn’t going to waste any more of it here on this rooftop.

He makes to move to the door. “What, no wings? Aren’t you gonna lift me up and fly off with me?” Ashton teases, rubbing at his cheeks to wipe off his tears.

Behind Luke, his wings flutter in an automatic, excited reaction although Ashton can’t see them and Luke laughs, biting his lip as he stretches his hand out to Ashton. He takes it and Luke smiles once more taking a couple steps with him towards the exit door.

He turns around taking a few steps backwards to keep the pace, and looks at Ashton with a thoughtful and slightly amused expression.

“Maybe one day I will.”

 

 

 


End file.
